if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
