but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
