dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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