he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
