I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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