He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
