oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
