Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
