I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
