it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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