I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
