Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
