i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Randomize
