if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
