What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
