even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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