hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
