smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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