why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
