Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
