her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
