A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
