connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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