i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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