ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
