I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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