On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
