I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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