You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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