he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
