Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
His hands were made for my vagina.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
