No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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