i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
