And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
