whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
