Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
