Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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