I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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