I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
