Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
