so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
