The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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