he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
