16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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