Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Randomize
