I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Randomize
