dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
