I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Randomize
