I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I think weed is turning my hair brown
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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