i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
