i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
