Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
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