She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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