That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
